Last weekend I facilitated a Constellation workshop in New York City. No matter how many times I do this, I am always moved, touched, and ultimately awed by the divine grace that manifests in these sacred events. This occasion was no exception. A week prior, I had received a phone call from a young man seeking help. He explained that he had suffered a trauma at age 14 that, he felt, had changed the course of his life. This experience came as a result of his parent’s acts and behaviors. Now, more than ten years later, he still suffered damaging repercussions.
He wanted to spare his younger siblings from similar damage and so sought help to “heal his family system”. I told him we could certainly address his issues in the workshop and he was relieved to hear this. He then asked to bring his parents to the workshop. I explained to him that his presence alone would bring his family’s energy to the workshop and that it wasn’t necessarily necessary for both his parents to attend. I also suggested that, not only might he feel inhibited by their presence, but that his parents might also feel uncomfortable sharing their family secrets with the group. I offered that they might be better served by doing a private family session.
All the above notwithstanding, nevertheless, several days later, I received workshop registration for him and his mother and father. On the workshop day, I had some trepidation about his parents’ participation but trusted the process and the fact that “everybody who should be there was meant to be there”. At the beginning of our day together the young man told me that he felt somewhat uncomfortable with his parents there, despite his choice to invite them.
As the day progressed, many others volunteered to present their constellations. He and his family were willing and active participants and visibly moved by their experience as representatives and “holders of the circle”. They did not volunteer to present their own Constellation. Our last Constellation of the day came, and a woman asked to work on behalf of her younger brother. After determining that we had her brother’s permission to do this, I asked her to select representatives for her brother, their father, and five earlier generations of fathers and sons in her paternal family line. Not surprisingly, she chose the young man to represent her brother, and his father to represent their father. At first, in this Constellation, there was great dissention between the generations of men, including the father and son. As the Constellation proceeded, a reconciliation was facilitated between the generations, including the represented son and his father. This reconciliation seemed to be mirrored in the experience between the actual father and son. Later, the son confirmed this to me. He acknowledged that a healing movement had happened between them.
The skeptics suggest that there is no divine guidance. My Constellation experience has repeatedly demonstrated to me that grace and love guides our work in these sacred groups.